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The Unity Principle: How to Build Unbreakable Sales Relationships Through Shared Identity
Master Cialdini's 7th principle to create deeper connections and close more deals
Here's something that might surprise you: the most successful salespeople don't just sell products – they sell belonging. They understand that humans have a primal need to be part of something bigger than themselves, and they tap into this need to create connections that go far beyond any single transaction.
Welcome to the Unity Principle – Cialdini's newest and perhaps most powerful principle of influence. While his original six principles focused on psychological triggers, Unity goes deeper. It's about creating genuine shared identity that makes prospects feel like you're not just a salesperson, but someone who truly belongs to their tribe.
What Unity Really Means (And Why It's Different)
Let's get clear on what Unity isn't. It's not just finding common ground or building rapport – that's the Liking principle. Unity goes much deeper than "Oh, you went to Ohio State too? Go Buckeyes!"
Unity is about shared identity that both the influencer and influencee are part of. It's the feeling that you and your prospect are fundamentally the same type of person, facing the same challenges, fighting the same battles, or belonging to the same "tribe."
Think about it this way: you might like someone because they're funny or share your taste in music. But you feel unity with someone when you both stayed up all night trying to meet payroll, or when you both know what it's like to be the only woman in the boardroom, or when you both understand the unique pressures of running a family business.
When a member of our group hurts, we hurt. When one member profits, we all profit. This is the power of Unity – it creates an "us against the world" mentality that makes your success their success.
The Psychology Behind Unity in Sales
Understanding why Unity works is crucial to using it ethically and effectively. Cialdini traces it all the way back to early humans and tribalism when being part of a community or being part of the group was an extremely important part of being able to survive.
In our modern world, this ancient survival mechanism still drives behavior. When prospects perceive you as part of their "tribe," several powerful things happen:
Trust accelerates dramatically – tribal members are assumed to have each other's best interests at heart
Defenses come down – you're no longer seen as an outsider trying to sell them something
Information flows freely – they share challenges and insights they'd never tell a "regular" salesperson
Decisions happen faster – tribal members don't need extensive proof or validation from each other
The Five Pillars of Sales Unity
1. Professional Identity Unity: "We Fight the Same Battles"
This is about connecting over shared professional experiences, challenges, and responsibilities.
How to identify it:
Similar job titles or roles (both are CTOs, both are founders, both manage teams)
Shared industry challenges (both deal with regulatory compliance, both face supply chain issues)
Common professional pressures (both responsible for revenue growth, both manage remote teams)
Scripts that work:
"You know, as someone who's also built a sales team from scratch, I can tell you that finding good people is only half the battle. The real challenge is creating a culture where they actually want to stay. Have you found that too?"
"I've noticed that most CFOs I work with have the same nightmare – getting accurate forecasting from department heads who've never run a P&L. Is that something you're dealing with?"
"Being responsible for cybersecurity in a company this size... I imagine you're the one who gets called at 2 AM when something goes wrong, right? That's a unique kind of pressure that most people don't understand."
Advanced technique: Share a vulnerable professional moment: "I remember my first year as VP of Sales – I was so focused on hitting numbers that I completely burned out my best reps. It taught me that sustainable growth is about systems, not just hustle. Have you had any similar learning experiences?"
2. Industry Insider Unity: "We Know How This Really Works"
This creates unity around shared industry knowledge, insider perspectives, and "war stories" that outsiders wouldn't understand.
How to build it:
Reference industry-specific challenges or terminology
Share insights about industry trends or behind-the-scenes realities
Acknowledge the unique aspects of their industry that outsiders don't get
Scripts that work:
"Anyone can talk about 'digital transformation' in healthcare, but you and I both know the real issue is getting doctors to actually change workflows they've used for 20 years. That's the conversation nobody wants to have."
"I've been working in fintech for eight years now, and I've seen so many companies get blindsided by regulatory changes. The ones that survive aren't necessarily the most innovative – they're the ones that build compliance into their DNA from day one."
"Manufacturing is one of those industries where everyone thinks they understand your business until they try to actually optimize a production line. There's so much complexity that just doesn't show up on the spreadsheets."
The insider knowledge share: "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I just came from a meeting with [industry leader], and they mentioned that [relevant industry insight]. It's not public yet, but it might affect your planning..."
3. Geographic/Cultural Unity: "We're From the Same Place"
This taps into regional identity, cultural background, or local community connections.
How to leverage it:
Shared geographic origins or current locations
Cultural backgrounds or experiences
Local community involvement or interests
Regional business practices or challenges
Scripts that work:
"Growing up in the Midwest definitely shapes how you do business, doesn't it? That whole 'your word is your bond' thing isn't just a saying – it's how deals actually get done here."
"I love working with Texas companies. Y'all have this attitude of 'if we're going to do it, we're going to do it right the first time.' It makes my job so much easier."
"Being based in Seattle, I'm sure you understand the challenges of recruiting talent when you're competing with Amazon and Microsoft for every good engineer."
The local connection: "I noticed you're involved with [local charity/organization]. My company actually sponsors their annual event. It's rare to find business leaders who really invest in the community like that."
4. Values-Based Unity: "We Believe the Same Things"
This is about connecting over fundamental beliefs about business, life, or how things should be done.
How to identify shared values:
Business philosophy (customer-first, employee-centric, innovation-focused)
Approach to growth (sustainable vs. aggressive, organic vs. acquisition)
Leadership style (servant leadership, data-driven, people-first)
Social responsibility (environmental consciousness, community involvement)
Scripts that work:
"I can tell you're someone who believes that if you take care of your employees, they'll take care of your customers. That's getting rare these days, but it's exactly the kind of leadership that builds lasting companies."
"It's refreshing to meet someone who understands that sustainable growth is more important than hockey stick growth. Too many leaders are willing to sacrifice long-term stability for short-term gains."
"I respect that you're not just looking for the cheapest solution. Quality costs more upfront, but it pays for itself in the long run. That's the kind of thinking that separates real business leaders from order-takers."
5. Experiential Unity: "We've Been Through the Same Things"
This connects you over shared experiences, both positive and challenging.
How to build it:
Similar career journeys or transitions
Shared challenges or setbacks
Common major business experiences (IPO, acquisition, startup, etc.)
Personal experiences that shaped business perspective
Scripts that work:
"I can tell you've been through a major system implementation before. You have that look – equal parts excitement and terror. The good news is, you learn something valuable from every one, even when they don't go perfectly."
"Starting a company in your 40s hits different than doing it in your 20s, doesn't it? You have more to lose, but you also know what actually matters. It makes you more strategic about everything."
"Going through a layoff early in my career completely changed how I think about business relationships. It taught me that the only security comes from adding real value. I imagine you've had similar experiences that shaped your perspective?"
Advanced Unity Techniques
The Tribal Language Method
Every industry, company size, and business type has its own language. Master the specific terminology, acronyms, and communication style of your prospect's "tribe."
Instead of: "We help companies optimize their customer acquisition costs." Try: "We help SaaS companies fix their CAC payback period so they can actually scale without running out of cash."
The Common Enemy Approach
Nothing builds unity faster than a shared adversary. This could be:
Industry challenges or regulatory burdens
Competitor practices you both dislike
Market forces affecting you both
Ineffective vendors or solutions they've both dealt with
Script: "I'm so tired of vendors who promise the world during the sales process and then disappear once the contract is signed. That's exactly why we structured our team to have the same person manage both sales and implementation – we're accountable for the results, not just the sale."
The Mentor/Mentee Dynamic
Position yourself as either learning from their experience or sharing wisdom based on similar experiences.
As mentee: "I'd love to get your perspective on something. We're going through [similar situation] and I'm curious how you handled it when you were at [previous company]."
As mentor: "I went through something similar when I was at [company]. Here's what I learned that might help you avoid the same mistakes..."
The Exclusive Club Technique
Create or reference an exclusive group that you both belong to.
Examples:
"Companies doing over $50M in revenue"
"Founders who've been through multiple funding rounds"
"CISOs at Fortune 500 companies"
"Family businesses in their second generation"
Script: "You know, I only work with about 15 companies at your scale. At this level, the challenges are completely different. You're not just buying software – you're making strategic infrastructure decisions that will affect the company for the next decade."
Building Unity Through the Sales Process
Your goal isn't just to understand their business needs – it's to identify what tribe they belong to and position yourself as a fellow member.
Questions that reveal unity opportunities:
"What's the biggest misconception people have about your industry?"
"What keeps you up at night that wouldn't even be on the radar for someone outside this business?"
"If you were mentoring someone just starting in your role, what would you tell them?"
"What's something you wish vendors understood better about your situation?"
Presentation Phase: Speak as a Tribal Member
Frame your solution in terms of shared understanding and common challenges.
Instead of: "Our software provides better visibility into your operations." Try: "Look, we both know that most operational dashboards are built by people who've never actually run operations. They show you metrics that look good in meetings but don't help you make real decisions. We built this differently..."
Negotiation Phase: "We're in This Together"
Frame negotiations as joint problem-solving rather than adversarial discussions.
Script: "Here's what I'm thinking – we both want this to be successful. You need to hit your cost targets, and I need to make sure we can deliver the level of service you deserve. Let's figure out how to structure this so we both win."
Implementation Phase: Maintain the Tribal Bond
Continue reinforcing unity even after the sale to build long-term relationships.
Regular check-ins: "How are you holding up? I know implementations can be stressful, especially when you're trying to keep everything else running smoothly."
Avoiding Unity Pitfalls
Don't Fake It
Authentic unity can't be manufactured. If you don't genuinely share an identity or experience, don't pretend you do. Focus on areas where you do have genuine connection.
Wrong: Claiming to understand military leadership when you've never served Right: Acknowledging that while you haven't served, you've worked with many veteran leaders and respect the unique perspectives they bring
Don't Assume Unity
Just because you share some characteristics doesn't mean you share identity. Test for unity rather than assuming it exists.
Instead of: "As fellow entrepreneurs, I'm sure you understand..." Try: "Have you found that being an entrepreneur changes how you evaluate vendors? I know it did for me..."
Don't Exclude Others
Unity shouldn't be about excluding other people from your "tribe." Focus on what brings you together, not what separates you from others.
Unity isn't about trauma bonding or sharing inappropriate personal information. Keep the focus on professional identity and relevant shared experiences.
Measuring Unity Success
You'll know you've successfully built unity when:
Conversations become collaborative rather than adversarial
They share information freely that they wouldn't tell other vendors
They introduce you to other decision-makers as "someone who gets it"
Objections decrease significantly because trust is high
They become referral sources and advocates for your solution
Follow-up meetings happen easily because they see value in the relationship beyond the transaction
Industry-Specific Unity Applications
Technology Sector
Shared experience with rapid scaling challenges
Understanding of technical debt and architectural decisions
Common frustrations with vendor promises vs. reality
Recognition of the pace of change and need for adaptability
Healthcare
Understanding of patient care priorities vs. administrative pressures
Shared knowledge of regulatory complexity
Recognition of the life-and-death nature of decisions
Understanding of resource constraints and efficiency needs
Manufacturing
Appreciation for operational complexity and precision requirements
Understanding of supply chain vulnerabilities
Shared knowledge of safety and compliance pressures
Recognition of the importance of reliability and uptime
Financial Services
Understanding of regulatory scrutiny and compliance burden
Shared knowledge of risk management priorities
Recognition of the trust-based nature of the business
Understanding of the balance between innovation and stability
Your Unity Action Plan
Audit your background – What industries, roles, experiences, and challenges have you navigated that create natural unity opportunities?
Research your prospects deeply – Look beyond company information to understand their professional journey, industry involvement, and business philosophy.
Develop your tribal languages – Master the terminology, challenges, and communication styles of your key market segments.
Create unity stories – Develop a repertoire of authentic experiences you can share that demonstrate shared identity with different prospect types.
Practice unity questioning – Develop questions that help you identify shared experiences and perspectives quickly.
Document what works – Keep track of which unity connections resonate most strongly with different types of prospects.
The Long-Term Unity Advantage
Here's what most salespeople miss: Unity isn't just a sales tactic – it's a relationship-building strategy that creates long-term competitive advantages. When you successfully establish unity with clients:
They become referral sources because they want to help fellow tribe members
They're more forgiving when problems arise because tribe members give each other the benefit of the doubt
They include you in strategic conversations because you're seen as an insider who understands their challenges
They're less price-sensitive because they value the relationship beyond the transaction
They provide better feedback because they want to help you succeed
Making It Real
Unity isn't about manipulation – it's about recognition. You're not creating fake connections; you're identifying and highlighting real shared experiences and identities that already exist. The most powerful unity connections are the ones where both parties walk away thinking, "Finally, someone who really gets it."
Remember: people don't just buy from people they like. They buy from people they trust. And they trust most deeply with those they see as part of their tribe – people who share their challenges, understand their world, and have their backs when things get tough.
Your job isn't to sell to prospects. It's to find your tribe and serve them so well that they never want to work with anyone else.
Now go build some tribes – authentically, ethically, and with genuine value for everyone involved.